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how to ensure a safe adventure: make sure the porcelain is clean, you have reading material, and that the coast is clear.

the porcelain enemy
the porcelain enemy
reading materialGotta make sure the coast is clear.coast is clear
I'm obsessed with back zippers or buttons.

alice wears:
blue fringe dress | f21
drop earrings | express
gold bracelets | foreign exchange & london amour
book| penguin classics

Though the flu outbreak is definitely widespread now, I also know many poor souls who recently caught the stomach virus. I, you guessed it, was one of these poor souls. Let’s all go ahead and agree that the current flu is no worse than the current stomach virus going around. I’m no math major or anything and I’ll spare you the details, but I’m pretty sure “fever + aches” is less than or at most equal to “constant vomiting”. And if this is somehow of concern to you, no, it wasn’t from the Hedgehog breakout (really now?).

In addition to the glorious symptoms associated with the virus, I abhor spending time in the bathroom. Therefore, the additional time I spent, as mandated by the virus, was TORTURE. I don’t know why, but I’m sure I hold some type of record for spending the least amount of time in a restroom as humanly possible and still be shy of being ‘just plain dirty’ (I swear!). This includes porcelain time, showering, brushing my teeth or even blow-drying my hair. Future parents beware of the consequences of your punishments because it’s likely my restroom fear is due to residual trauma caused by childhood punishments of being locked in a bathroom. And don’t even get me started on public stalls…

Dante's Inferno

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