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****SPOILER ALERT****

And then there were 6. Off to St. Croix!

  • number of times Sean takes off his shirt: 2 (but it was a good 35 minutes of shirtlessness, so all is forgiven)
  • before we get to the dates, let’s just thank ABC for sending them (finally) to a tropical island. Cue: full dates with shirtless sean (see below) and making out on the beach in the sunset (since these scenes so clearly mimic real life).

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  • Now to Ashlee’s first one-on-one. let me just say…DAYYAMMMM GIRL! i wish i had your body – and at 32?! puts my 27 year old body to shame 😦 makes me regret eating cheez-its and samoas for dinner.
  • as prescribed, during their intimate dinner, she feels the urge to drop a bomb. no, not that kind, you sicko. turns out she got married at 17 and divorced at 18. still better than Kim K (if u ask me). don’t worry – the dinner date ends with her proclaiming her love for him. so all is good in paradise.
  • second one-on-one date goes to….drumroll please…Tierra the Terrible! (and she was not without plenty of complaining) ugh. they go exploring the town and she beams with excitement when he buys her jewelry from a vendor. don’t panic – it didn’t involve any diamonds. just a shell on a necklace string. let me repeat that. a shell on a string.
  • next up: group date around St. Croix full with treehouse. why Tarzan Sean no take his shirt off there? luckily he fulfills my wishes at beach #2 (whew!)
  • Catherine reveals another sad story, this time about her dad. Oh Catherine (sobs!)…so glad Sean recognizes the strength in her from that story. can we say #teamcatherine yet? (btw this clearly solidifies our 1% guess of being right that she is Asian!)
  • on to one-on-one with Lesley. was anyone as jealous as me about HOW BIG THE AVOCADOS WERE???? Damn. Photos are not to scale so objects may appear SMALLER than they really are.

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  • oh, and the date? *crickets chirp* yeaaa that was nice too…whomp whomp…
  • And now to the Tierra show:

  • Ashlee and Tierra get into a cat fight and it ends with Tierra screaming ‘I CAN’T CONTROL MY EYEBROWS’. that’s all you need to know.
  • Sean can’t handle the drama (and fake crying? i mean, come on!)…so he kicks Tierra out. can i get a woot woot!!! no more of this face: reg_1024.TheBachelor.Tierra.mh.012513
  • The rose ceremony’s victim this week: Lesley

Next week: HOMETOWN DATES! and it looks juicyyy

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