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ooohhh snap – let the cat fights begin!

The first 15 minutes of the show started with Chris Harrison and Sean visiting viewing parties of ABC’s target audience (females between the ages of 12-89). Well, since they didn’t visit us – we don’t give a crap. Then the re-cap of the season was only good for showing 3-4 shots of shirtless Sean. Boring.

So, let’s start with our fave outfits and get those out of the way because let’s be honest – that’s what you were searching for when you found our page (or maybe it was Tierra’s eyebrows, don’t worry – we’ll get there!)

Hot Seat Interviews:

Tierra is the first in the hot seat. She gives a long blank stare when Chris Harrison asks “is there anything you would have changed or apologized for?” Crickets chirp. Obviously “no” because she was innocent and all the other girls bullied her. To emphasize how nice she is, whispers out the letters “B-I-T-C-H” as if she didn’t previously say it 35x per episode. Let’s keep it real now. Then we get a peek at Tierra’s Sparkle! Or is it Tierra’s Eyebrow? (I’ll let you decide…):

Oh – Tierra’s Eyebrow definitely made a comeback. Boy did it ever.
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Oh yea, and her engagement? To who?She intensely denies that it is a hoax as vehemently as she denied being a bitch. Oh Tierra. You are so convincing…not.

Before we get to another hot-seat, I just want to take a second to point out how Kacie B hasn’t learned her lesson. Why does she still look so drugged up? Tragic.
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Next in the hot seat, Sarah. (definitely America’s sweetheart). She is the first to cry but still looks amazing. As sad as her montage recap was, it reminded me how many great outfits she had. need to go back and research! All in all – I hope she gets chosen over Des for the Bachelorette.

Well, Chris mentions how Des is voted as a ‘fan favorite’ – not us! Sure, she was sweet. but something about her feels disingenuous. Like we said already, pleaseeee don’t bring her back as the bachelorette! we will refuse to watch!

Last in the hot-seat is AshLee, who becomes a kookoo crazy nut and says that Sean had confessed that he had no feelings for the remaining 2 girls. Commence awkward silence lasting 45 seconds which on national television feels like 45 minutes. Oh, AshLee, don’t be a sore loser. now you just made yourself look like a bitter lying lunatic. congratulations, you crazy beezy.

Then, in the rolling credits, they pay tribute to the producer’s dog, Magic, which made my heart cry. i made it through the entire 2 hours without shedding ONE tear – and then they get me in the last 10 seconds…with a dog. you’re good, ABC. real good 😛

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Next week is the season finale!!! And a 3-hour finale at that – because 4 hours would obviously just be over the top.

And, in the spirit of mixing things up (not that it’s possible to be over-loaded with shirtless photos of Sean), we leave you with….pant-less Sean (via swoonworthy.net)

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you’re welcome.

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