Bachelor Rants – THE FINALE!

Tags

abc, bachelor, catherine, engagement, proposal, realitytv, rose, seanlowe, shirtless sean, thebachelor, tv

only 3 hours left of Bachelor Sean. SOMEONE STOP TIME!

we start the marathon of an episode by meeeting sean’s family. talk about a cookie-cutter-perfect family. sheesh! sean’s dad is the cutest/sweetest thing ever and made us tear up…TWICE. as per usual, the fam doesn’t help him make a decision and loved both girls equally. let me tell ya, if it were MY family, they’d have a million things to say and complain about. is he a doctor? what was his GPA? does he have a roth IRA? what do his parents do? blah blah blah…
Meeting the parents oufits:
Catherine’s Striped Dress: Similer, Similar and Similar.
Lindsay’s Navy Blue Dress: Similar and Similar

…then the FINAL TWO DATES:
Lindsay’s up first: they go floating on a raft and talk about how gorgeous the scenery is.
no offense to the mekong river, but you’re a little discolored. but i guess when you’re in love, everything looks like rainbows & butterflies. Lindsay’s voice-over talks about how goofy they are (ie. they point in opposite directions and make fake binoculars) and about how serious they can also be (ie. they make out). Is it just me…or… NO, that doesn’t really show how perfect she is for him.
Lindsay’s date night red dress: similar here and here

Catherine’s date started off all fun and dandy, but what the hell was she wearing?! a blue sheered polka dot shirt a white tank under? girl, you couldn’t mix it up with a cute bralette or bathing suit? then, things got serious real fast. she (finally) tells Sean that she loves him. and he responds with a ‘thank you for today’. OH SNAP. i KNOW he can’t say ‘i love you’ back, but danngggg that was just cold. sean, when you don’t know what to say, just start kissing! haven’t you learned ANYTHING?!
Catherine’s date night black lace dress: similar here or splurge a little here

We see Sean getting ready, and THERE it is. The sneak peak of his abs. ABC couldn’t end the show without shirtless Sean could they? Phew. Well done, ABC, well done.

now comes the good part. Catherine vs. Lindsay. who’s it going to be? more importantly, who wore it best? my vote goes to neither. they could have done A LOT better with the outfits. not only were the dresses unflattering, they could have easily been mistaken for escort attire. talk about major disappointment. And what was up with Catherine’s lashes? Spider lashes are NOT IN.

we all know that the first girl that comes out of the limo is the one to get axed. so who’s it going to be? zoom into the purple glittered pumps…it’s Lindsay. she has no idea what’s coming to her for the first 30 seconds during his speech (also attributed to the fact that Sean’s breathing was so loud it was hard to concentrate one what he was saying – anyone else hear that?). and then comes the “…but.” AWKWARD. though, i won’t lie, i gave a little hallelujah when she took off her heels. can’t make a statement by walking out stumbling in 6 inch stilettos, you know?

SPOILER ALERT: Sean proposes to Catherine. (insert Neil Lane plug). Then she says “omgosh” & “you’re so handsome” about a hundred times, and says “YES!” – not in that particular order. At least he finally said “i love you so much” to make up for his huge snub from the night before…and then they ride off into the sunset on an elephant – obviously.

Onto the last hour of this dang show…where nothing eventful or blog worthy occurred. As they review the engagement footage, I think Catherine realizes how terrible her mascara job was, so at least it was a learning lesson. Also, they confirmed they’re going to get married on tv – if they make it that far (THANK YOU ABC – just make sure he’s shirtless at least once, okay?). and they announced the next bachelorette: Desiree. UGH.

**Disclaimer**: Borderlinefab will not be covering Desiree’s season. we refuse. UGH….(you know, unless the men are outrageously attractive. I’m sure we could work something out in that case)…

but to end on a high note, here are the dresses from the finale:
Lindsay’s white lace dress here, but similar/more affordable here
Catherine’s navy lace dress here, but similar/more affordable here

that’s all folks! hope you guys enjoyed our rants & nonsense 🙂 What show should we going to cover next!? I’d say Chicago Fire, but it’d just be photos of hot TV firemen. But, would you guys really complain?

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Bachelor Rants – Wk 8

Tags

abc, chris harrison, death stare, fashion, hi-low dress, high low dress, reality tv, rose, sean, sean lowe, team catherine, team lindsey, the bachelor, thebachelor, tv

***SPOILER ALERT***

Off to the land of unlimited pad thai, spring rolls, and thai tea. Ummm…sign me up!

Starting off: The exotic land of Thailand means one main thing: SHIRTLESS SEAN (x2). High-five ABC, it was expected and delivered.

• Lindsay’s 1:1 is up first.  they stroll through the local market, eat some bugs, check out the color chicks (literally) and make their way onto the beach. Overall, YAWN. Honestly.
• 
• And did anyone else have an hard time watching Lindsay try to say “I Love You”? I wanted to shoot myself. It took a Thai version of the “It’s a Small World” ride, 3.25 commercial breaks, Thai dancing, 30 minutes, and 553 awkward silences between Sean and Lindsay before she uttered it. Honey, next time take 3 shots of tequila and I guarantee you’ll be saying I Love You all over the place. (Oh, you guys don’t do that? …)
• Lindsay’s outfits: mint green dress (similar, pleated), wedges (similar), & white bustier dress (similar only $20!, floral, studded, obsessed, splurge)

• AshLee’s 1:1 starts off with an activity to make AshLee ‘lose control’ and trust Sean. Again. Zzz. Apparently the cave is supposed to symbolize the uncertainty of a relationship and the trust needed to make it work.  yeah – i almost made myself vomit.
• Ashlee’s outfits: crochet top (simpler, but loving this), espadrilles (similar, save, splurge), snakeskin bathing suit (save, splurge), and date night dress and bracelet.

• Catherine’s 1:1 was mostly of them making out. then making out in the water. then making out in the rain. hawt.
• Catherine’s outfits: off shoulder dress (solid, similar, splurge). Was really not digging Catherine’s green/blue tie-dye dress, so we didn’t find a link for you – because you shouldn’t be wearing it. You’ll thank us later.

This brings us to the end. Man, i don’t know.  it’s down to the final 3, but i’m not feeling any of these girls.  where’s emily at? bring back emily!

After a heart to heart with chris harrison, sean reveals that he’s in love!  it then becomes obvious that he’s sending AshLee home – but after he watches her cry her eyes out in her video message to him, maybe he’ll change his mind.

it was a good strategy, but he did what was expected and cut AshLee.  Given her track record, you’d expect her to sob uncontrollably, but instead, she went with the death stare….and when i say death stare, i mean “i’m casting an evil spell on you and your first born.”

DAMN.

Overall for them being in exotic Thailand, their outfits were super boring and it was a lame-o episode. That really only means one thing: next time i need more wine. On the other hand, the boredom means more outfit searches:
Rose Ceremony: Catherine’s (similar, similar, similar, similar), Ashlee’s (similar, similar), Lindsey’s (similar, in black)

NEXT WEEK: the women tell all (always a fan favorite)

IN TWO WEEKS: the 3 hour finale. 3 HOURS?! come on, ABC – some of us have real day jobs that we gotta rest up for.  i have more important things to do! but fine – i’ll watch 😛

Bachelor Rants – Wk 7

Tags

bachelor, fashion, final four, home town dates, lindsay is boring, panel dress, plunge dress, rose, sean, sequin dress, team catherine, thebachelor, tierra, tierra's eyebrow, week 7

***SPOILER ALERT***

It’s time to meet the families!

don’t get too excited, tierra. you’re not invited! why don’t you cry about it on @tierraseyebrow?

• First home-town date: TEXAS! YEEHAW, our homestate (G&A). Too bad it’s Houston. (whomp whomp). It’s like dallas, except boring, lame, and 110% more humidity.
• Her dad is a pastor, his dad is a reverend. That’s gotta be a match made in heaven right (hehe)?
• Ashlee’s dad tells the story of his ‘first date’ aka adoption with Ashlee. This pretty made every woman (and their boyfriends forced to watch) in America cry.
• Next we move to Seattle for catherine’s date. i mean…their chemistry (ugh i hate that word) is undeniable! I mean, how else would you be able to do insanely romantic things like putting pennies into a pig, catching slimy fish, hoky poky dancing, and graffitting the gum-wall with more gum, if not with lots of ‘chemistry’?
• And how cute was Catherine’s grandma? She gon’ steal Sean! Watch out!
• THEN he meets her sisters. DUN DUN DUUUNNNNNN. without catherine in the room, they called her messy, extremely mood , and fickle. they might as well have just straight up called her a dirty bi-polar cray at that point. thanks, sis. thanks alot. and then their date ends with a whimper.
• Linday’s date: yawwwwnnnn. nothing else to report.
• In fact, Lindsay’s date was so boring, I decided to research some outfits, since…we’re supposed to talk about fashion, or something. AshLee’s buffalo plaid shirt (similar). Catherine’s blue sweater (similar). Des’ olive shirt (with cutout). I don’t know what Lindsay was wearing on her date, since it was so boring. Des’ sequin dress (similar, similar and similar). Catherine’s plunge dress (similar). Lindsay’s sheer panel dress (similar and similar). I actually have no idea what AshLee was wearing either. Deal with it.
• your turn, desiree – bring on the drama! her ex(?)boyfriend shows up and proclaims his love for her in front of sean. is this FORREEAALLZZ?! the answer to that is no. he got punk’d! payback’s a biotch.
• Then, des’s brother joins the conversation and decides to royally screw everything up for her. he really has an affinity for the word ‘reciprocation’ and continues to call sean a ‘playboy’. awesome.
• during the rose ceremony, sean dramatically struggles to send home either catherine or des. In fact, he stops the rose ceremony, leaves the 2 girls hanging, and goes to the back room to ponder for what feels like an eternity (but really is just conveniently long enough for a commercial break). The torture!! In the end, despite her last plea for love, Sean decides that des has gots to go. go team catherine!
• Times Sean took off his shirt: 1. (I was afraid the whole episode was going to go by without a glimpse. It was short, but I’ll accept it, for now.)

The remaining three: Catherine, Ashleey, and Lindsay. Next week – they’re off to THAI FREAKING LAND!!! ahhhhhhh!

Bachelor Rants – Wk 6

Tags

abc, bachelor, drama, realitytv, rose, sean, thebachelor, tierra, tv

****SPOILER ALERT****

And then there were 6. Off to St. Croix!

• number of times Sean takes off his shirt: 2 (but it was a good 35 minutes of shirtlessness, so all is forgiven)
• before we get to the dates, let’s just thank ABC for sending them (finally) to a tropical island. Cue: full dates with shirtless sean (see below) and making out on the beach in the sunset (since these scenes so clearly mimic real life).


• Now to Ashlee’s first one-on-one. let me just say…DAYYAMMMM GIRL! i wish i had your body – and at 32?! puts my 27 year old body to shame 😦 makes me regret eating cheez-its and samoas for dinner.
• as prescribed, during their intimate dinner, she feels the urge to drop a bomb. no, not that kind, you sicko. turns out she got married at 17 and divorced at 18. still better than Kim K (if u ask me). don’t worry – the dinner date ends with her proclaiming her love for him. so all is good in paradise.
• second one-on-one date goes to….drumroll please…Tierra the Terrible! (and she was not without plenty of complaining) ugh. they go exploring the town and she beams with excitement when he buys her jewelry from a vendor. don’t panic – it didn’t involve any diamonds. just a shell on a necklace string. let me repeat that. a shell on a string.
• next up: group date around St. Croix full with treehouse. why Tarzan Sean no take his shirt off there? luckily he fulfills my wishes at beach #2 (whew!)
• Catherine reveals another sad story, this time about her dad. Oh Catherine (sobs!)…so glad Sean recognizes the strength in her from that story. can we say #teamcatherine yet? (btw this clearly solidifies our 1% guess of being right that she is Asian!)
• on to one-on-one with Lesley. was anyone as jealous as me about HOW BIG THE AVOCADOS WERE???? Damn. Photos are not to scale so objects may appear SMALLER than they really are.
  
  


• oh, and the date? *crickets chirp* yeaaa that was nice too…whomp whomp…

And now to the Tierra show:

• Ashlee and Tierra get into a cat fight and it ends with Tierra screaming ‘I CAN’T CONTROL MY EYEBROWS’. that’s all you need to know.
• Sean can’t handle the drama (and fake crying? i mean, come on!)…so he kicks Tierra out. can i get a woot woot!!! no more of this face:
• The rose ceremony’s victim this week: Lesley

Next week: HOMETOWN DATES! and it looks juicyyy

Bachelor Rants – Wk 5

Tags

abc, bachelor, banff, canada, girls, mlb, mlbfancave, polar plunge, rose, sean, thebachelor, tv

****SPOILER ALERT****

ABC – i don’t know what’s behind your reasoning, but 2 episodes in 2 days – you must be telling me to sleep less.

Monday’s Recap:

• Number of times Sean took off his shirt: 0 (really now?)
• ladies! pack your bags….because we’re going, and i quote, “a world wide journey to find love”. First stop……MONTANA!!! say whhhhaatttt??? cue the disappointed faces.
• i got my first inkling of a front runner!! Catherine! & i swear she’s part Asian – i’m 1% sure of it! 😛
• do we really need to discuss the group date? Milking and drinking goat’s milk? Awesome… NOT.
• The first 2-on-1 date is between Jackie and Tierra. Guess who survives?! Do we believe her sob story? Sigh, Sean, you are damn good lookin’ – but JEEBUS!! stop picking Tierra the Terrible!!
• First cuts: Jackie (very little screen time) and Robyn (kinda saw that coming… girls gotta stop bringing up the drama!)

Tuesday’s Recap:

• Number of times Sean took off his shirt: 1
• Catherine gets the first one on one date…on a glacier. Which means Sean’s face = a hot red tomato HAHA! exhibit A:
• 
• Her date continues into an ICE CASTLE where she proceeds to tell a tragic story, as required per one-on-one date. Though admittedly, that was a pretty sad one (and traumatizing.. for her).
• The group date challenge involves jumping into barely above freezing waters in your bikini. Would i do that for love? oh HEEELLLLZ no! i’m sitting in my heated room with a fuzzy robe on while i’m typing this.
• Selma, sits out by explaining that this is not a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. very true, she could come back to jump into glacier waters any other time in her life, but doing so with a shirtless Sean? That was your one chance…
• And there he runs.. (via USATODAY)
• 
• And was anyone really that surprised that Tierra was the one who ‘got hypothermia”?
• Next Date: Banff Mountain Climbing (he’s really trying to make a burly woman out of Dez, no? Goats milking and Mountain climbing?)
• Number of times Dez said “this is steep” while climbing down a mountain: 435.
• Then they climb into a tent while Dez proceeds to bear her tragic story of growing up in a tent. Awkswards.
• This week’s cut: Sarah (did any one else cry when she was cut?), Daniella (in her words ‘shocking’…really girl?), and Selma (after she broke her moral code and kissed Sean on national TV, oh the shame.).

Total number of times Sean took his shirt off: 1 (dismal for a 2-episode week)

Next week: St. Croix. And more of the Tierra Show…

On another note, gina’s sister is named as one of the Top 52 finalists
for this year’s MLB Fan Cave -and for those of you who (like me) think that MLB stands for ‘Must Love Bachelor,’ it’s a baseball term. The winner gets the dream job of watching baseball games, interviewing athletes and celebrities, and hosting concerts. If she wins, she promised to take us to a baseball game where we can eat hot dogs & nachos in heels!! so help us vote for her 🙂

Watch Mina’s audition video here & vote!

voting is ALMOST better than getting a rose from Sean himself 🙂  GO MINA GO!!